Mommy Guilt... Not Again
Why do we moms do this? And a better question is why do some of us do it more than others?
I've been home with the kids all summer and since we also moved things have been a little hectic. So my husband took the day off today and Monday is a holiday here so we have a long four day weekend. And he said to me take this time and enjoy it, go get your hair done (I hope that's not a hint, LOL!), catch up on your work or just chill and do whatever you want.
It's a nice thought but I feel almost guilty because I feel bad for not going along with them or taking so much time for myself. And my husband's response to this, "Are you crazy? They've been in your hair for weeks and you haven't had any time for yourself. How could you not want this?"
*sigh* I know he's right, but my kids wanted to me to go along with them. Anyways, I'm sure they'll get over it, they're going to Lego Land so I doubt they'll be thinking about me for long, LOL. Now I think I better do the same and enjoy my free time :)
Do you suffer from mommy guilt? Any hints on how to stop it?
I've been home with the kids all summer and since we also moved things have been a little hectic. So my husband took the day off today and Monday is a holiday here so we have a long four day weekend. And he said to me take this time and enjoy it, go get your hair done (I hope that's not a hint, LOL!), catch up on your work or just chill and do whatever you want.
It's a nice thought but I feel almost guilty because I feel bad for not going along with them or taking so much time for myself. And my husband's response to this, "Are you crazy? They've been in your hair for weeks and you haven't had any time for yourself. How could you not want this?"
*sigh* I know he's right, but my kids wanted to me to go along with them. Anyways, I'm sure they'll get over it, they're going to Lego Land so I doubt they'll be thinking about me for long, LOL. Now I think I better do the same and enjoy my free time :)
Do you suffer from mommy guilt? Any hints on how to stop it?
posted by Mila at 1:46 AM
NEW! 
4 Comments:
I felt a little guilt about letting my almost 1 year old play for a little while in the gym day care. She's never been under anyone else's care other than my Mom or dh. But I just rationalized it away by reminding myself that she would probably have a blast (she did- all those new things to climb on!), that her 8 year old big brother is there and he wouldn't let anything bad happen, and that I can check on her any time I want.... every few minutes... for the entire hour I workout.. LOL! I'm not trying to convince myself or anything...
You know what, I think sometimes the guilt comes from fear that our kids won't need us as much as we think. Personally, I think that's not a healthy thing and we ought to cut that out.
My kids always want me to be the one to make breakfast, for me to take them to the public washroom, for me to brush their teeth, for me to take them to bed...and the list goes on.
Letting that continue is not fair to DH because it obviously hurts his feeling (though he doesn't really say) when they say, "No, I want mommy too!"
It's also extremely tiring for me to be the one in such crazy demand.
My fear is that something terrible will happen to my child and I won't be able to forgive myself for not having prevented it. I grew up with several people close to me who were abused... even though I know rationally that it's almost always a family member, it still bothers me. I'm totally cool with my kids being independent. And I don't let them get away with that asking me to do stuff for them that they're capable of doing.
But that still seems to be you thinking that only you can do do a good of taking care of them. I.e. to be safe, they need you.
LOL - Me too, I make my kids do the things they'recapable of. They're still little and shouldn't be brushing their teeth completely on their own and they never close the door properly in the public washroom. But when it's stuff they need help with, they generally demand me. I'm trying to cut that out!
I just found something I feel guilty about. I don't feel bad when I go out and DH watches the boys or when they're at preschool. I feel mommy guilt on the few days I get to sleep in. This morning DH got up with the boys and I slept/lied in bed til 11, but at about 9:30 I thought I should get up. Not sure why, but I felt guilty when everyone was just fine
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