To Smack or Not To Smack
"Smacking" is the word used in the UK for "spanking". There has been a lot of controversy here on this issue as i'm sure in other parts of the world. A law was passed a few years ago which states parents can smack their children as long as they don't leave a mark.
Recently a father was sent to jail for 2 years for smacking his daughter in public (a police officer saw him) a bit harder than what would qualify as a legal smack.
From a personal perspective I don't like to smack my children. I have given them a swat on the behind very rarely, but I always feel really bad after the fact. Plus it doesn't work, not in our case anyways.
I know some people feel very strongly about this issue and have strong views for either side of the camp. I could also understand why we need a law, because some parents do go overboard and certainly abuse their children, but child abuse comes in many ways and you don't necessarily have to smack your children to abuse them. Emotional abuse can be very damaging to children too and yet I often hear parents do this on a regular basis.
In an ideal society the parenting issue would be left to the parents and the state shouldn't get involved, but nothing is ideal or perfect. So what are your views? Do you feel parents should have the right to smack their children or not?
Recently a father was sent to jail for 2 years for smacking his daughter in public (a police officer saw him) a bit harder than what would qualify as a legal smack.
From a personal perspective I don't like to smack my children. I have given them a swat on the behind very rarely, but I always feel really bad after the fact. Plus it doesn't work, not in our case anyways.
I know some people feel very strongly about this issue and have strong views for either side of the camp. I could also understand why we need a law, because some parents do go overboard and certainly abuse their children, but child abuse comes in many ways and you don't necessarily have to smack your children to abuse them. Emotional abuse can be very damaging to children too and yet I often hear parents do this on a regular basis.
In an ideal society the parenting issue would be left to the parents and the state shouldn't get involved, but nothing is ideal or perfect. So what are your views? Do you feel parents should have the right to smack their children or not?
posted by Mila at 1:12 AM
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5 Comments:
Well, I was abused as a child and I know there is a clear difference between spanking a child and abusing a child.
With that being said. My older girls have gotten tapped on the butt before but Isaac my soon to be 7yo has never been spanked. Do I feel parents have the right to spank.. yes, I do (spank not abuse).
I know that spanking wouldnt work for Isaac and if I spanked him I would be doing it purely out of frustration. With my older kids a quick pat on the bottom was all it took with them and thats all I ever did. Never used a belt or another object. Even with the few swats on the bottom - those happened very rarely. Restrictions worked a lot better with and for my kids.
I know what you mean about the pat on the bottom, this is what I have done as well. There is clearly a line and I guess the law here is saying you can do that "give your kids a pat on the bottom" but not anything else which makes sense.
And you're right it's up to the individual child, with my older two I know spanking doesn't work.
You said: child abuse comes in many ways and you don't necessarily have to smack your children to abuse them.
I absolutely agree! I have seen parents who LOOKED at their children a certain way that made me feel uncomfortable... a look of pure hatred. THAT is abusive.
I also am striving to be a non spanking parent. I am tough though, with consequences. I don't think a tap on the tushie is abuse and I do find it interesting that in Switzerland after spanking was outlawed, physical abuse went UP (some people say it's because the parent's frustration level reached a climax which led to abusive spanking, but I'm not sure).
I am not a fan of the Government regulating family life or personal things that take place behind closed doors.
It is a shame that we have to regulate common sense however. :(
I was spanked as a child and I really don't think it was bad for me. In fact, most times, I think I deserved it. I do not agree with parents slapping their child across the face or hitting them in the head though. I have smacked my kids leg if they were kicking another child, or their hand if they were about to touch the stove, or their butt. But never their head or face.
That said though, I don't smack them all the time. We use other methods if they work and a smack if it's needed. I also have a rule that we never discipline in any way when angry. Any disciplinary action taken is never out of anger. That's when things go nasty - when you're all worked up. So I always try to make sure I'm not frustrated or mad when I dole out any punishment, whatever the form.g
Spanking is like politics and religion in that people avoid talking about it because its a touchy subject. What I find interesting is that adults have greater expectations of child behavior and are willing to punish in ways that would be unacceptable as an adult. Case in point: How many people speed when they drive? Surely you know better than to speed? Its against the rules. But, because most times people don't get caught, they try to "get away with it". Let's say you got caught and the police man asked you to bend over and he spanked you. That's crazy, you say, and yet we do it to kids all the time.
A couple of years ago, an American teenager was sentenced to lashes for vandalism in the Philippians. Americans were outraged. But I wonder how many children were spanked that day for coloring on the wall.
The best arguement against spanking is that it doesn't work as well as other methods. Discpline is about teaching and spanking doesn't teach as well as other methods. I was spanked and turned out okay, but I don't spank and my kids are very well behaved. I think they'd rather get spanked sometimes since it would be over in a flash.
Leslie
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