Higher Expectations for Younger Siblings
My son's are close in age and I always think of it being just one year apart, but it’s actually 19 months. That's 2 grades (when the youngest starts school) apart. I unintentionally have higher expectations for the little one because they are so close in age.
Without thinking, I find myself assuming they should be able to do the same things like dress themselves, not play with their food, pick up after themselves without being asked or needing help, etc.
Many times I do and say things that I don’t even realize are giving him the impression that he should be just like his older brother. When I do catch myself doing those things I feel bad because I’m not allowing the youngest one to be a kid and act his age. Instead, I am basically asking him to grow up too fast and not enjoy and learn like his brother was able to do.
Does anyone else with kids close in age do this same thing?
Without thinking, I find myself assuming they should be able to do the same things like dress themselves, not play with their food, pick up after themselves without being asked or needing help, etc.
Many times I do and say things that I don’t even realize are giving him the impression that he should be just like his older brother. When I do catch myself doing those things I feel bad because I’m not allowing the youngest one to be a kid and act his age. Instead, I am basically asking him to grow up too fast and not enjoy and learn like his brother was able to do.
Does anyone else with kids close in age do this same thing?
posted by Alice at 12:02 PM
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3 Comments:
Yep, my two are 17 months apart and I catch myself doing this. My little girl was much more advanced at 3 1/3 than my boy is but I have to realize they're different people and let him learn at his own pace.
I've also thought about how difficult it will be for the little one to always follow one year behind his big sister in school... and worry even the teachers may compare the two.
I don't think it will be too bad though because at least one's a girl and one's a boy.
My husband has a brother who is two years older and the teachers were always comparing him to his older brother :(
Alice - I do this too, but the funny thing is, I do it with my second daughter. Her and my 3rd are actually closer in age (19 mo like yours), but for some reason, I expect her to be able to act and do things like my oldest who is 3 years older than her. Mostly because they are closer in size and look closer in age, but aren't. It's tough to remember sometimes.
One more thing - on the other hand, I think I baby my youngest daughter too much. She is the most petite of them all and really doesn't look 5. Plus her sister's baby her and try to do everything for her too. So, with her, I think we're actually not pushing her enough. She thinks she's this little diva that everyone is going to wait hand and foot on. That definitely has to change. Just because she's small doesn't mean she isn't capable.
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