"It Takes a Village to Raise a Child"

This African proverb, made popular most recently, by Hilary Clinton, has got me thinking. As a mother, I know how important it is that my husband and I raise our boys, but I also know that it takes more than just the two of us to help them grow into well rounded young men.

Lately on the forum, we've been talking about getting time for ourselves as mothers and they said it was a struggle. Some moms said they felt guilty. Others said they were happy to sacrifice their own goals for a short time while the children are growing.

And recently, my friend had her ex-husband tell her that she's “always pawning off the kids on other people”. Let’s be clear: she goes out on her own about once per week when her daughter is with the Dad and her son is with the Grandma. The Dad only sees the kids one or two days a week and is too lazy to take them together because he says it's "too hard" to have them together. But that’s another story…the point is… why do people see a Grandmother spending quality time with a child as “pawning off”?

My husband and I talked about it and he had an interesting perspective. He said there's nothing wrong with what he called "community parenting". Family and close friends should be a part of children's lives and there's no reason to feel guilty for it. Don’t get me wrong, the kids are with us most of the time, but I don’t see any reason to feel bad for giving our children the experience of knowing other people well.

I also think some parents wrongly think that they're the only ones who can take care of their kids. Sorry, but I think that's a selfish (or insecure) thought because kids deserve alone-time with their grandparents, aunts and other important people in their lives. I'm not saying all the time - but raising happy well-adjusted kids (and well-adjusted parents) can be a community thing.

What do you think? Can we still raise our children in a community environment, with the world the way it is today?