Throwing Kids Out of the House
Seems that parenting experts can’t really agree on whether parents of out of control teens are right to resort to kicking their kids out when all else seems to fail. I’ve found some that suggest it is ok and others say making them leave home and take complete care for themselves is only going to make things worse in the long run.
My in-laws may not want me to mention this, but when my husband was a teenager his parents threw him out of the house. Yes, he was a bit of trouble-maker, but that wasn’t the only problem in the household. There were issues that were not my husband’s fault and these added to the tension for everyone involved.
I don’t think I could never throw my boys out on the street, especially when I need to take a good look at the relationship I’ve built with them, which starts now when they are little. The only exception I’d make is if they were putting any of my family member’s lives in danger. And if the time ever came that I felt my children should not be in my home, throwing them out on the street just doesn’t seem like the right answer. Allowing a troubled child to fend for himself doesn’t seem like much of a recipe for success.
I understand the concept of tough love, but kicking your kids out to me is going over the line. It doesn’t get to the bottom of the problem and teaches our kids that it’s ok to give up when things don’t go the way you want them to.
Now, of course, my kids aren’t teens, but I’m looking ahead and wanting to have plans in place to ensure I keep a good relationship with my kids. If you have teenagers, you might see it differently than me.
What do you think about throwing kids out of the house? Would you ever do it? Have you done it?
My in-laws may not want me to mention this, but when my husband was a teenager his parents threw him out of the house. Yes, he was a bit of trouble-maker, but that wasn’t the only problem in the household. There were issues that were not my husband’s fault and these added to the tension for everyone involved.
I don’t think I could never throw my boys out on the street, especially when I need to take a good look at the relationship I’ve built with them, which starts now when they are little. The only exception I’d make is if they were putting any of my family member’s lives in danger. And if the time ever came that I felt my children should not be in my home, throwing them out on the street just doesn’t seem like the right answer. Allowing a troubled child to fend for himself doesn’t seem like much of a recipe for success.
I understand the concept of tough love, but kicking your kids out to me is going over the line. It doesn’t get to the bottom of the problem and teaches our kids that it’s ok to give up when things don’t go the way you want them to.
Now, of course, my kids aren’t teens, but I’m looking ahead and wanting to have plans in place to ensure I keep a good relationship with my kids. If you have teenagers, you might see it differently than me.
What do you think about throwing kids out of the house? Would you ever do it? Have you done it?
posted by Alice at 4:05 PM
NEW! 
5 Comments:
Alice, my mom threw me out of the house when I was sixteen. She had paranoid alchoholic delisions about me having sex with a guy in a car out front of our townhouse. (Which totally didn't happen - I was still extremely innocent and untouched. They guy didn't even kiss me!)
My father was so unhappy with her decision that he moved out and got an apartment for him and I to live in.
It's darn scary to think about what happens to teens who are tossed out on their own. I have taken in a few teens in these situations.
I know sometimes a teen is just done being parented and are so disruptive to the household that it can be truly necessary - but most of my experiences with it have been as a result of a disfunctional parent more than a disfunctional teen!
WOW - what a great topic. No, I would never just toss my teen out. When you are dealing with a troubled adloscent you 1st need to get them help then immediately check yourself!! Many time (as in teh situation Kelly mentioned) there are things that the parent isnt doing correctly to connect.
All that being said. Isreal (my 15yo) was a HUGEEEEE Proublem teen at 12. She ran away, skipped school, all that stuff and it took years of family and individual counseling for her and the family to finally work though the issue.
No, I am not saying it is ALWAYS the parents fault but we are here to guide our children (through the good and the bad).
I dont have a problem with placing a teen in a home care invironment awy from the home when there is fear of drugs, danger to the teen or other family members, but to TOSS a teen out? No, I can't see doing that.
Aurelia
I don't think I would be able to just toss Caleb out. I would be open to putting him in a detention home or something if need be but not just toss him out. I'm here to guide him and raise him not give up on him.
I would do everything within my power to help our teen but I do realize there are extremes.
My understand of those extremes is that social services gets involved and can remove the child.
I have a friend of a friend whose teenaged son is molesting their 4 year old daughter (his step sister). That would be the only way I could throw a kid out.
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