Fine Moments of Motherhood: Gas Station Slap

I think that there are times as moms when we feel like complete losers - and we need to see that others moms screw up too and somehow the kids manage to survive ;)

So be prepared to be encouraged.

When Sean was four years old we still lived in Lansing. We had to stop for gas and I had to get out of the car to pump. He was tired, grouchy and fussing in the back seat.

I opened the back door to say something to him - I can't remember exactly what - but - he responded with a loud aggravated scream and kicked the back of the seat.

That scream got on my last nerve. I said something like 'Don't you scream at me!' and I reached out intending to pop him in the mouth - only he ducked a little (smart kid) and my fingers caught his nose instead.

So of course he screams again - louder and (though I promise you I didn't hit him hard) his nose turned into a faucet with one of those crazy gushing nose bleeds. The blood scares him, the blood scares me - its getting all over his winter coat, he's crying now and I'm reaching for the blue gas station paper towels and hoping that nobody can see what is happening.

Yeah, complete loser moment.

I get the bleeding stopped, clean up his coat, hug him until he calms down - go pay for gas and then burst into tears on the way home.

It's one of those situations that burns into your memory. I remember the winter coat he was wearing. I remember exactly which lane in the gas station we were in. I remember the helpless feeling I had - wondering 'Is this who I am? Am I going to be like my mom and just smack my kid whenever they don't act just right?'

It was scary.

And I knew it was not who I wanted to be.

I'll come back with a few more Fine Moments of Motherhood.... and please - feel free to share a few of your own if you're willing.