Sticking Up For Our Kids
Today my kids went to my neighbor's house for a few hours... they go there twice a week during the summer so I can work.
I went to pick them up and my son (10) was upset and was said "I can't stand being here." and was pretty much rude. Automatically, I got upset, said he was being rude and sent him to wait outside.
After talking to the neighbor, it turns out there had been another boy there today (similar age) and he had called my son names. Names along the line of "retard" and some other similar expression... now she didn't actually tell me how bad the names were. I found out later on from my son.
My son has Asperger's but he very much understands what these words mean. It's bad enough that he already feels he has difficulty understanding the world around him... being called these types of names are really hurtful.
Anyways, when my husband got home, we called my son down and all had a talk. It was at this time my son mentioned the names he was called. When I asked him what the babysitter said, he said she just said "ignore him and go back out there and play."
I'm actually really angry at this, because that's not the right way to handle it. As an adult you can't allow children to call each other names and then dismiss it as though it's the normal thing to do or "no big deal."
She's usually a great lady and the kids love going there, but I'm not happy with this incident. Either way, it was their last day there because we're going away for a week and when we get back they start school again.
I felt terrible and apologized to my son, because I should know him well enough to see that he was upset and should have taken him aside and talked to him before saying he was rude and sending him outside.
I guess I reacted in the moment, but it just reminds me that we have to sometimes really take a close look at the situation and see that our kids have feelings and often times they have good reason to be upset.
I'm going to call the babysitter in a few minutes and talk to her about it. I'll keep you posted!
I went to pick them up and my son (10) was upset and was said "I can't stand being here." and was pretty much rude. Automatically, I got upset, said he was being rude and sent him to wait outside.
After talking to the neighbor, it turns out there had been another boy there today (similar age) and he had called my son names. Names along the line of "retard" and some other similar expression... now she didn't actually tell me how bad the names were. I found out later on from my son.
My son has Asperger's but he very much understands what these words mean. It's bad enough that he already feels he has difficulty understanding the world around him... being called these types of names are really hurtful.
Anyways, when my husband got home, we called my son down and all had a talk. It was at this time my son mentioned the names he was called. When I asked him what the babysitter said, he said she just said "ignore him and go back out there and play."
I'm actually really angry at this, because that's not the right way to handle it. As an adult you can't allow children to call each other names and then dismiss it as though it's the normal thing to do or "no big deal."
She's usually a great lady and the kids love going there, but I'm not happy with this incident. Either way, it was their last day there because we're going away for a week and when we get back they start school again.
I felt terrible and apologized to my son, because I should know him well enough to see that he was upset and should have taken him aside and talked to him before saying he was rude and sending him outside.
I guess I reacted in the moment, but it just reminds me that we have to sometimes really take a close look at the situation and see that our kids have feelings and often times they have good reason to be upset.
I'm going to call the babysitter in a few minutes and talk to her about it. I'll keep you posted!
posted by Mila at 12:24 PM
NEW! 
4 Comments:
Hi Mila, I really like your point about taking him outside to talk to him before jumping to conclusions either way.
As you said, children often do have a valid reason to be upset and it is so easy to react in the moment, I've done it too.
I have also been in similar circumstance with our schools. I refuse to teach my children that they don't need to be treated with respect by adults, especially teachers who should be the role model.
Once in awhile they have a teacher who just does not show respect for the them or the students in general and it's a hard line to walk between teaching them to be respectful while not being respected themselves, and how to handle it.
This is not exactly the same but it all comes down to honouring your child and being there for them, even when it's easier not to be.
I really don't think your son has anything to worry about in that department :0) (I've said my share of apologies too!)
I agree Mila. Bullying is verbal abuse, and shouldn't be tolerated.
Thanks ladies, it's comforting to know I'm not overreacting!
i'm on your side all the way. i was at school today, waiting in the hall with my baby while my toddler was going through evals...this little boy started getting teased for "not speaking english" (no idea how true it was) and the teacher said and did nothing about it. as adults it's our responsibility to handle these situations when they arise...
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