Sometimes It's Not as Hard as We Think (sometimes it's harder!)

Last night I was reading a book called "The Gift of Change" by Marianne Williamson and in she quotes a newspaper reporting on a government survey. After 25 million dollars worth of research, they found that the single largest determinant in children's learning is the presence of at least one adult who cares whether they do (it doesn't need to be a biological relative).

This reminds of a quote by Maya Angelou, "do your eyes light up when your child walks in the room." I remember

the day I heard her say it on Oprah years ago, and I realized there and then that mine didn't always. Not because of my kids, but because of what ever was going on at the time, my thoughts etc., I hadn't realized how much my face and attitude would affect them at any given time.

From that day I never forgot it and always make an effort to look at them and smile or say something to them, ask them

something etc, when they walk in the room, to make them feel noticed and appreciated. Not that I am always rosey, but it is has become almost like a check point for me, a behaviour I have conditioned myself to when they walk in. I still hear Maya's voice.

I feel that it has made a difference, that my kids feel loved, respected, validated and cared for, more than they would have otherwise, the moments can get by us so easily.

Does it take much effort? Not really, maybe some days more than others :0) But that small shift in my awareness of how I

affect my kids, even when I didn't think so, really did make a difference to them.

It takes mindfullness. That's also what it takes to show kids that you care about their learning. I know personally it's easy to care very much but to slip on showing it at the appropriate times if other things are going on (which is often).

Does anyone have specific ways that they encourage their children with their accomplishments? The fridge is an icon, hanging things there etc. I used to have a wall where I hung my youngest daughter's artwork. But the kids took it down one day and I still miss it! I love little kids artwork.

My kids are getting older, and it seems more of a challenge now.