WFMW: Put It On The List

(Works for Me Wednesday is a brainchild of Shannon at Rocks in my Dryer.)

This morning at breakfast my almost 2 1/2 year old, who in the last few weeks has entered the "Disequilibrium" stage common at this age, was carrying on a bit, yelling and making mean faces at her siblings.

She kept asking me for something over and over that I didn't have. And then, I found the following words of mothering genius flow out of my mouth:

"I'll put it on the list, ok Sadie? Mommy will put that on her list!"

Sadie immediately stopped yelling and started smiling.

How did I let this tip elude me until now? I used to practice it all the time with my oldest who was especially demanding interesting.

I remember reading this bit of parenting wisdom in a book somewhere about discipline.

This ONE tip can save you tantrums and tears. Here is how it works:

When your child asks you for something that you can't/won't buy, instead of getting into a big drawn out lecture about why you can't/won't buy it, because you can't afford it because your car needs new tires or because it will give your child cavities or liver cancer or zits or whatever, or if you simply don't want to buy it because your child doesn't need anything else....

Tell them you will put it on the list. This accomplishes a couple of things.

• It makes them feel heard
• It makes them feel important

Kids often just want us to acknowledge their feelings. And if you take the time to grab a pen and write their request down on paper (especially if you keep The List on the fridge!) means that their feelings are important to you.

And sometimes that's all you need to do. With little kids, they will typically forget about it (love that short attention span!). And if your child is older and remembers what they asked for, you at least have it all down on The List and can discuss priorities, money, and all that.